Waking up on the wrong side of spacetime
by LillianLuthor
Summary: SV XOver. Clark wakes up in Sunnydale, and needs the help of the Scoobies to go back home to Smallville. Might contain slash, eventually, because it's somewhat inevitable that I include it.
1. Chapter 1

Waking up on the wrong side of spacetime.

The first thing he noticed waking up was the alarm clock, which was actually not _his_ alarm clock. When he was younger he found himself with new alarm clocks all the time, whenever he accidentally smashed them while fumbling with the snooze button, but he had been able to keep his current one intact for nearly two years now…

He didn't dwell on it for long, as something else that was quite odd caught his attention; his feet where hanging off the end of the bed, which strangely failed to accommodate him. He cringed inwardly, begging to God it wasn't an alien thing. He was suddenly afraid he was going to get up and find himself 7 feet tall; he really hoped it wasn't 9 feet by the end of the day.

Yeah,_ there_ was panic setting in at last. He would have screamed for dad, and really wanted to, but for some reason the whole house sounded empty. And outside the house, it sounded just plain strange… like there were just too many people walking around the farm, and none of the voices seemed familiar at all… He opened his eyes to find himself in a room that was definitely not his own.

He told himself not to panic. It failed.

He momentarily tried to think what Lex would do, but he didn't think Lex had ever woken up in a bedroom with walls clad in stupid superhero posters. He definitely didn't think Lex had ever woken up in stupid, too small, ripped off superhero pyjamas. In fact, he had always assumed Lex slept in the nude.

He stood up and sighed in relief when he realized he was not 7 feet tall after all, unless the door was gigantic too. On the other hand, he was still in a bedroom not his own. The alarm clock started off again, and he smashed it.

He checked out the bedroom, and wondered if this was destiny's way of making him an even bigger dork, but soon realized it was unlikely that he got any _less_ cool. He briefly scanned the house, for which the seeing-through-walls alien thing was extremely useful, but found nobody else inside. That marginally calmed him.

The clothes in the closet were colours not even he would wear, and had superhero pictures in most of them. They were also stupidly small, like something maybe Pete would fit into. He was reluctant to walk around a strange house in only ripped-off pyjamas, but on the other hand he thought it best to see if he could find some fitting clothes while the house was empty. The owners could come back at any time, for all he knew.

In the bedroom down the hall he found pictures of a middle-aged man and his wife, some of a dark-haired boy, and a few of a small dog that looked amazingly scary for a thing so tiny. The closet was full of suits and expensive-looking things, and nothing at all he could feel comfortable in, but the pyjamas were not so good either, and at least the middle-aged man seemed to be his size. He quickly found some grey slacks and a white shirt with blue stripes that he judged would fit and put them on.

Downstairs he found one of those automatic coffee machines with a piece of paper stuck to it; on closer inspection it was a note, which read: "Put some milk in your coffee, or you will be hyperactive all morning. There is money for lunch in the cookie jar, and your subscription to Child Prodigies is on the table. I'll be back around six. Call me if you need anything. Mom."

It seemed mundane enough, so he settled down a little bit. It didn't seem he had been kidnapped by strange meteor-mutants, or abducted by a scary government organization. And he was starving.

It didn't really seem appropriate to have breakfast in somebody else's house without them knowing, but on the other hand he _had_ just popped up there, and he didn't know when he was going to make it home. Perhaps he could just grab a cookie…

The cookie jar was empty except for two ten-dollar bills, and the refrigerator contained only a half-empty bottle of milk and some leftover Chinese food. Since there was no food to be had, and he didn't really feel like staying in that strange house anyway, he left through the back door and locked it down with the spare he quickly located under the ugly pot with the half-dead plant.


	2. 02

By nightfall he had come to more than a few educated conclusions. One –he was in California. Two –it was not a dream, and it didn't seem like it was an alien thing… or a meteor thing. Three –he was on his own.

"One" had been relatively easy to ascertain. As soon as he had left the house, he had found the newspaper in front of the neighbour's door; he had taken a peek, and discovered himself in Sunnydale, California.

"Two" was just a hunch of his, based mostly on the fact that he didn't seem to be waking up, or growing antennae, or feeling extremely sick _or_ extremely wild. He had so far seen nobody glowing green, or exhibiting absurdly awesome powers, and people weren't looking at _him_ funny either, so he basically thought he was covered on that front.

"Three" had been the toughest to discover. He had called Lex as soon as he had found a payphone –he didn't think his parents would be thrilled about interstate collect-calls—and hadn't been able to get a hold of him. He had tried the castle, the plant, and his private line... he had gotten no answer on the first, a message saying the number was non-existing on the second, and an old woman named Bertha on the last. They had finally agreed it was pretty much _her_ phone number, and that he should _stop_ calling.

He had then started campaigning for enough change to call his parents, and in a relatively short time had gathered enough; it had been a surprise when he had been informed by a recorded message that the number was disconnected. He had tried Chloe, Pete, and even Lana. By five o'clock he had found out that, apparently, Smallville, KS, did _not_ exist.

So now it was eight o'clock, and he had nothing to do but sit on the park and wait for something to happen. He didn't really know what to expect, and he was actually afraid nothing would happen at all; he would just be stuck in that town he did not know, and surrounded by people he did not know, without any way to find his family of his friends or even Lex again…

He found it hard to believe nothing would happen, because back in Smallville strange things, like waking up in a place you don't know, didn't usually happen just randomly, without any actual killing-attempt or seduce-slash-kidnap plan. He was by now pretty sure nobody was kidnapping him.

He had used the change he had gathered to buy a hotdog from a street vendor a while ago, and now he was getting curious glances from that very same man, who did apparently not understand what reason could a boy like Clark possibly have to sit in a park bench for two hours.

As it had grown dark the people on the streets had become fewer and fewer, and even the hotdog man had left eventually, leaving him and some old stray dog the only beings on the park. A car rushed past him and the dog every once in a while, but nothing much seemed to happen at all.

By nine o'clock he had named the dog Alexander, and had discovered he was actually a very pleasant dog. By nine-thirty Alexander was lying in the bench next to Clark, his head resting over Clark's leg, and he wagging his tail as Clark patted his back carefully.

By ten o'clock even the cars had stopped passing by, and Alexander had fallen fast asleep. He was wondering if he should be panicking again, but somehow it seemed unfit to panic in such a very deserted and quiet place.

He was trying to decide if he should just stay put and wait some more, or if it was about time he got up and tried to _do_ something, when suddenly the hairs on Alexander's back began to stand on end. He was surprised to hear footsteps approaching, and wondered how he hadn't realized any sooner; by the time Alexander started barking, the owner of the feet was right there in front of them, watching them with a mix of curiosity and disbelief.

"Lovely night to sit in the park all by your lonesome, eh?" the man said, in a tone that seemed to imply it was _not_ a lovely night to sit in the park, all by their lonesome.

It was a strange looking man, the type of man mom had always told him not to talk to when he was a kid, and the kind of man dad would probably shake his head in disapproval of. He also looked pretty dangerous, in a very retro kind of way. It sounded like Chloe was talking inside of his head.

"Yeah…" he eloquently answered. This was the very first person to talk to him, other than the long gone hot dog man, and he really thought he should be trying to gather some information about his situation. Only he didn't know what his situation really was, and what was he supposed to ask a random guy on the street?

"What, cat got your tongue? Haven't got all night, have I?" the stranger insisted, seemingly upset by the way Clark was taking forever to figure out what to say.

"I'm kind of… lost?" Clark tried, not really sure of how to put his situation in a way that was understandable to a common passer-by, however strange that passer-by was. And however funny-talking.

"You askin' me?" the man snorted, in a way Clark thought was pretty rude "Aren't you a bit old to get lost? You funny in the head or somethin'?"

"I'm not funny in the head" he frowned "I'm from Kansas"

"Well then, that explains it all!" the man exclaimed, and Clark was pretty sure he was being mocked, somehow "What's with the dog?"

"He's… he seemed to like me well enough, and he doesn't have a collar…" Clark started to say, not really sure of what exactly the question meant.

"Oi! Do I look like your mother? Don't care where you got the bloody dog, do I?" the stranger interrupted him, giving him a look that said he couldn't believe his own ears "Might have stolen it from an old lady in a walker for all I care! Will it try and munch on my leg, is what I wonder!"

"Oh… no, I don't think he will bite or anything… I mean, he seemed like a nice enough dog so far…"

"Just hates me, then" the man seemed to brighten up suddenly "Recognizes a dangerous bloke, it does."

Clark didn't really know what to answer to that. He was about to settle for a noncommittal "okay" when, all of a sudden, the man just started walking away.

"Sir, wait?" he called out, not really sure of what to say; the man seemed a bit on the weird side, but he _was_ the only person who had talked to him so far.

"Oh, bugger all!" the man sighed, turning back to look at him with an expression that clearly said he had expected to be called back, but hoped not to "You really lost, then? Not a hustler, not a dealer. Not waitin' for somethin' to kill." he shook his head and pulled out a cigarette "Should have known better! Don't look like type, do you? You're probably even from Kansas!" the man laughed, even as he lighted up.

"I did mention I was from Kansas?" he said, not really following the man's rant

"Thought you were bullshitting me! Sounded like a bad alibi, it did. Figured you were up to something, thought I'd keep an eye out for you… Well, you seem harmless enough" the man decided, and started off again "C'mon kid, got better places to be. Bring that dog of yours, it's not safe out here."

"It's not?" he asked, hurrying up and after the stranger with Alexander safely in his arms "Where are we going? I have nowhere to go…"

"Gonna get you some help, keep the pace up" the man told him, not looking back at him as he walked.

Clark had been told as a child not to follow strangers who told him to come along, but that had been before he had been told he was a super-strong alien from outer space, so he thought he was pretty safe so far. And staying in the park forever was not a nice prospect.


	3. 03

They ended up in front of a regular looking house, much alike some others they had seen on the way; when they walked in, there was what seemed to be a reunion going on inside, with regular looking people in it.

"And his bleached evilness is back again, all gelled-up and ready…" one of the people there, a boy perhaps a bit older than Clark, started, before he realized the man was not alone "And who is this, oh harmless one?"

"Bag it, git. Just came back to bring you this. Thought you might be interested. Found him in the park, I did. All lost and puppy-eyed."

"That was very thoughtful of you, Spike" an older man said, standing up from where he was sitting in front of a large book "But why not take him to the police station? We don't really specialize in helping lost people…"

"Not your regular bloke, watcher" the man who had brought him interrupted the other "Looks harmless enough, though… even had a puppy with him."

"And it's a cute puppy" a very small blond girl observed, standing up and walking towards Clark "Hi, I'm Buffy… these are Giles, and Xander, and the girls there are Willow and Tara. You've already met Spike."

"Pleased to meet you" Clark gladly replied, relieved to finally find himself in a situation in which he knew how to react "I'm Clark"

"Hi Clark", the girls in the couch waved hello, and he waved back.

"Okay, now we all know who we are" the tiny blonde seemed satisfied with that.

"Yes, I am afraid I have been a rather inhospitable host" the older, English man said earnestly "I am Rupert Giles, and this is my home. Perhaps you'd care to enlighten us as to how you ended up lost in Sunnydale?"

Clark gulped. He hadn't thought this far ahead when he had followed the strange-looking man, Spike. What was he supposed to say to this roomful of people watching him expectantly? "Hi, I just woke up here" didn't seem like a good option. He had already established "I'm from Kansas" was a very lame response, and didn't bring him any closer to coming home. Wherever home was. He suddenly felt a little bit like crying.

"Bloody hell, you're not going to cry, are you?" Spike exclaimed, sounding incredibly annoyed at the possibility.

"I'm not going to cry!" he defended himself "I just… I don't know how I ended up here" he confessed, hoping they all made the best that they could out of that simplified fact.

"Yes, of course" the older man, Giles, said in a reassuring tone "But you must certainly remember something… where are you from, Clark?"

"I'm from Kansas" he explained "Smallville, Kansas. It's a small town, a few hours away from Metropolis"

"I didn't know there was a Metropolis in Kansas" the other boy, Xander, interjected.

"There isn't" the redhead confirmed.

"Well, no, there doesn't seem to be…" Clark admitted, not really knowing how to go on "But they were there yesterday… I mean, I went to bed in Smallville last night, and it was there. I was there."

"There has never been a Metropolis in Kansas, I think" the Willow girl frowned, not at him, but rather at the whole problem.

"I'm not crazy… I mean, I don't think I am. I have lived in Smallville all of my life. Metropolis is the only other place I had even been to, other than Smallville. Until today, that is…" he didn't think it pertinent to mention he had gotten to Smallville after a brief stay in Krypton and an interesting bit of interstellar travel.

"Well, all in due time…" the English man began "Spike here says you're not just the average bloke… I think it's fair that I ask _how_ you are not the average bloke"

"Is that… I'm a regular kid. There's nothing… _not_ regular about me" he assured them, at the same time hitting himself mentally over the head for such a lame denial. He wasn't even sure what he _was_ denying.

"No, he's not" Spike threw in "Not human, that kid. Don't know what, but not human"

"What? No!" Clark hurried, absolutely sure that _this_ was something he had been taught to deny "I am… human. I mean, how could I _not_ be? I'm not green, or…"

"Why would you be green?" the blond girl, Buffy, looked at him in confusion "_Should_ you be green?"

"No, definitely not green" he assured her, shaking his head to emphasise his point.

"He looks normal enough to me…" the Xander person commented.

"You wouldn't know krej from human if they were eating out your brains!" Spike snorted "Look at your datin' record, git"

"It's only fair to admit Spike does have a point" Giles stated as he took off his glasses and started polishing the already pristine surface "and he does have a more accurate… perception of things."

"Thanks for the no-defence-at-all, G-man" Xander scoffed.

"Yes, well… Clark, we do understand your… reluctance. But we are certainly not going to judge you…"

"Unless you're up to destroy the world…" Buffy interjected "You're not up to destroy the world, right?"

"What? No!" Clark jumped.

"Better to be on the safe side of things" the small girl shrugged.

After that they all seemed to go silent for a while. Clark was trying to figure out what to say, because someone _had_ to talk in such a situation, when someone else beat him to it;

"Wait a minute" Xander started all of a sudden "Your name is Clark, and you're from Smallville… near Metropolis. And you're not human… why does that ring a bell?"

"You know him, Xander?" the redhead asked, curious.

"Oh, oh! I've got it!" the boy almost jumped up and down on his place, he was so excited "You're Clark Kent, right?"

"Yes, I'm Clark Kent…" he answered tentatively "Have we met?"

"Shit, this is so cool!" Xander beamed "He's Clark Kent, from Smallville!"

"Xander, I hope you are going somewhere with this… and do watch your language" Giles said in a voice that clearly spoke of exasperation.

"Don't you see?" Xander asked, goggling at everyone like they had all grown a second head "Had you no childhood?"

"Xander, what…" someone began to speak when Spike, who had remained silent in a corner, interrupted them rudely;

"Oh, sod all, the kid's bloody Superman!"

"I really don't know what that means, but I'm definitely not… that" he insisted

"But that's only because you're probably too young right now…" Xander explained, as if he were a particularly slow child "You're still living in Smallville. How old are you?"

"Sixteen"

"What?" Buffy goggled "He's sixteen? He's… you look so… big" she sounded amazed. He thought his head might burst if he blushed any more.

"Everybody, please…" Giles interrupter the banter "You're telling us, Xander, that Clark here is a superhero from children's comic books?"

"Well, yes! The name, his hometown –which does not exist in this reality—and look at him! He's sixteen, and he's by far the biggest guy in the room. And I bet he can do all kinds of cool things! Like, can you fly?"

"No, I can't fly… birds fly, not people" he said in disbelief, but then noticed the way everyone was looking at him like he was too dense to be true, and gathered everyone already knew his secret "I sometimes float in my sleep. But I can't control it."

"Yes, well" Giles cleared his throat "now that we have established that, I think we should try and find a way to get you back to your world."

"Can't we keep him for a little while?" Xander all but begged

"I kind of have to go home…" he confessed, hoping they didn't think him an enormous dork for what he was about to say "Mom and dad must be very worried by now."

"Xander please, do behave… this boy is not a toy for you to play with" Giles scolded him.

"Yeah whelp, you don't get to play with that kinda toy… not in your league, this kid." Spike cut in from his corner.

"God, Spike, naughty images in my head!" Xander whined "Why hasn't Buffy killed you yet, again?"

"I'm more helpful than you are... if somebody has to be put to sleep, it's gonna be you"

"Please, nobody will be put to sleep!" Giles interrupted "You two have exasperated me enough for one day, and I frankly think you should both go home now. It's late enough as it is, and Buffy has to patrol… we'll find out how to bring Clark home tomorrow morning."

Everybody seemed to be somewhat put out by the older man's tone, and remained quiet. He was fighting with himself not to insist that they try to find out how to bring him home _right now_, because mom had taught him not to be pushy, especially when one is a guest.

"Can I take him home with me?" Xander asked in a much tamer voice, after the silence was maintained for a while.

"Thought you said you didn't fancy the bloke…" was the immediate come back from the corner.

"Argh, Spike! Evil creature of the night! I'm not even addressing that comment…"

"Well, Xander, I appreciate the good will" Giles spoke, before another word could be said on that line "Do you think it'll be safe, though?"

"He's Superman!" the boy insisted, sounding entirely sure of himself "He's the nicest guy _ever_. That puppy is more dangerous than he is… I mean, look at him!"

Everybody looked at him, and the girls even smiled tenderly. He had no words for how embarrassed he felt.

"Alright then, Xander…" the older man agreed, clearly tired of the younger one's enthusiasm "If Clark is alright with it, that is…"

"It's okay Mr. Giles, I'll stay wherever it's best for you…" he assured him, not wanting to cause any trouble.

"See? All-around nice guy!" Xander sounded filled with pride "Okay, let's go Clark!


	4. 04

"Hey., you!" he heard a voice calling behind him; he didn't expect anyone he knew to be around, so he didn't turn around. Not until the voice insisted.

"Hey, you… the bald guy!"

He turned around then, not quite sure what to expect… he found a blondish girl, staring at him intently.

"Excuse me?" he said at last, not recognizing her at all.

"You _are_ Lex Luthor, aren't you… only younger" she said, and although it didn't really sound like a question, he answered anyway;

"I _am_ Lex Luthor, but I don't know what you mean by younger… this is quite the oldest I have been so far, and I assure you that, despite the t-shirt, I am not a schoolboy."

"It's a nice t-shit. It's rather funny that you should be wearing it." the girl opined

"It reminds me of someone…" he confessed, looking down at the picture of the superhero on the t-shirt he had been forced to don, for lack of a better option.

"That's okay, I understand vicious obsession." she assured him, sounding entirely non-judgmental "Anyway, I met you when you were older. You probably won't remember me yet, because we haven't met in your timeline at this point… it's probably for the better that you don't remember me, actually. So, what are you doing here?"

"I think it's quite safe to say I am taking a walk" he answered, his face perfectly neutral even if he was actually trying to assess the situation "Enjoying the warm California night and all that. What about you… I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?"

"Anya. That's not really my name, but it's shorter and easier to pronounce, so I go by that these days." she explained "You probably knew me by another name, only you don't know me at all yet. But you will when you do, if you do at all… you know how these things are."

"Would it be too shocking if I said that I don't?" he answered. The girl could have sounded completely insane if it weren't for the fact that he had woken up in a strange bed in a strange city in a, curiously, strange world where Metropolis, KA, didn't exist, and apparently neither did he. And still, she knew him.

"Oh, you don't? How did you get here in the first place, then?" she questioned him, surprised.

"Strange enough, I woke up here."

"I hate that." she said sympathetically "You were lucky to wake up here, though. I once woke up in a reality with huge snow-white bunnies… although it ended up being a joke from a friend. Do you think that your been here might be a joke from a friend?"

"I shouldn't think so." he answered "Somehow I manage to get in trouble quite well by myself, and I don't think I know anyone who can send me to… what? A parallel reality?"

"You could call it that… so, you're not freaked out?" she sounded impressed.

"I wouldn't say that I'm not. You honestly sound like the product of a psychotic break, and it wouldn't really be a first for me… On the other hand, I suppose it's very unlikely that I am having a very fortuitous psychotic break in what one would call a very quiet and fulfilling period of my life. And, if this is not a psychotic break, then I am living in the flesh the realization of a very interesting part of physic theory. Which, frankly, thrills me."

"Well, great." she murmured, checking her watch at the same time "We can talk about that later. I have to be going now… where are you staying?"

"I have a room at the Holliday Inn, which I probably won't be able to afford for more than a few days… if I'm still here." he admitted, telling himself one more time that he needed to carry more cash in his wallet, just in case.

"I didn't figure you for the Holliday Inn type…" she wondered for a second, but soon shook it off "Well, here, this is where I work…" she produced a card from her pocket "You can find me there in the morning, and maybe I could help you get back to your dimension. It'd be nice of you to buy something, too…"

"Alright, I will see you then. I was nice meeting you again Anya… or for the first time"

"Yes, it was nice seeing you again too… specially in a situation not work-related. Alright, I'll be going now… Goodbye!"

¸.·¯·.¸¸.·¯· ¸.·¯·.¸¸.·¯·

"So… it must be really cool to be you!" Xander said, as soon as the left Mr. Giles' house, and sounding entirely like an over-excited child.

"It's okay…" he answered, not really sure of where the _coolness_ lay "I've always been like this… it has its setbacks, though."

"Like what?" Xander asked in disbelief.

"Well, there are a lot of things normal kids can do that I can't" he confessed; when Xander looked at him like he didn't follow, he felt the need to explain "I'm really strong… and I can't really control some things all that well? I'm kind of… dangerous, in a way"

"Well, that probably sucks…" Xander agreed, but the silly grin didn't leave his face "Still, look at you! You must be a real success with the chicks!"

"I'm not really popular in school…" he blushed "It's not like they bash me all that much, you know, other than the one time last year… but nobody really wants to hang out with 'that hick Kent kid'. Other than Pete, who has been my friend forever, and Chloe, who moved to Smallville a while back."

"Hey, that's just like me and the girls! I have been friends with Wills since we were in diapers, and then Buffy moved here from L.A. That's an awesome coincidence!" he exclaimed cheerfully, making Clark wonder if he was always like that, or it was just a freak reaction to his presence "So, you've not gone to Metropolis yet…"

"I've been to Metropolis a couple of times, with mom and dad when I was younger, and with this… friend of mine a couple of times."

"Ah, is that a "friend" friend?" Xander winked and waggled his eyebrows "I'm sorry if I sound like an old wife, it's just so thrilling to have you here!"

"That's ok" he tried for a smile "I guess it's pretty much as if I were meeting Guardian Angel. Only less cool."

"We have an Angel here, and he's kind of guardian in a way, but he's definitely not cool." the other boy said regretfully "But hey, maybe next time you get lost in inter-dimensional travel you'll end up in… wherever that guy lives!"

"I think I'll just try and stick to Smallville, if I ever get back there…" Clark sighed.

"Oh, don't worry, we'll send you back in no time… we just have to find out how you ended up here to begin with." Xander assured him "Between the two of us, you weren't actually _trying_ to get somewhere, right?"

"I definitely don't think I can do that. And it's not like I wanted to be anywhere else… I like it in Smallville, it's nice." his eyes went suddenly as large as two balloons "Oh gosh, I had chores to do this morning! Dad must be going crazy with all that work… he can't handle the whole farm by himself. And –and I have school on Monday. I really have to get back soon!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll get you back home in no time" Xander assured him, suddenly very glad to be on his doorstep as he didn't think it was okay to feel sorry for Superman. The geek in him was in tears.

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"Xander! There you are! I have been waiting for you for some time now, where were you?" a girl Clark had not yet met asked as soon as she saw Xander go in, and then seemed to reconsidered as she saw Clark "Oh, hello! I would _definitely_ not go to the Holiday Inn if I were you…"

"What? He's not going to the Holiday Inn, he's staying here for the night Ahn." Xander sounded confused.

"Well, good then…" the girl seemed satisfied "He won't mind if we share orgasms while he sleeps, will he? Because I came here for that, really."

"I don't think it's appropriate that we do that with him over there in the couch, Ahn." His host hurried to say, watching with mortification the way Clark's face had turned a bright crimson "It's not only incredibly gross, but also unbelievably immoral…and quite probably also illegal."

"Well, what then?" the girl sounded puzzled "Can't he stay someplace else? Don't be cheap, you should give him some money to get a hotel room."

"Ahn, he's sixteen, and he's alone in an alternate dimension… I swear I'll make it up to you, but he not going to get a hotel room." Xander said "I can't even _afford_ a hotel room."

"Well, alright… I'll be expecting flowers and chocolates, and also large amounts of compensatory sex when he leaves" the girl stated matter-of-factly "By the way, why did he come here?".

"It's a very long story… but also an incredibly thrilling one!" Xander brightened up "Do you want to hear it?"

"Not really, thank you Xander." the girl dismissed him, putting him down a bit "I was just mildly curious, but I don't need any details… I will be on my way now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Ahn" Xander waved as the girl left, and then turned to Clark with an apologetic look on his face "I'm sorry… that's Anya, my girlfriend. I would say she's not always like that, but she kind of is… so, you know, I'm sorry?"

"That's okay" Clark assured him, keeping his eyes firmly away from his host "Is that the couch I will be sleeping in?"


	5. 05

"Oh, hello." Anya greeted him as he came into the store, early in the morning "You're here."

"I am here" he confirmed, looking around the shop and finding it quaint.

"Well, thank you for coming. You should really leave now. I would like to help you, but I don't want any problems in my shop…" she started to say, but she didn't get to finish her rant before the bell on the door rang, and two people walked in "Well, here goes nothing…" he barely heard the girl murmur; he was distracted by what he saw.

"Clark, why am I not entirely surprised to find you here, of all places" he said, although he _was_ quite surprised.

"Lex? What are you doing here?" the boy asked, sounding truly confused as he hurried towards his friend "Is –is that a shirt with my picture on it?"

"He kind of looks like you, doesn't he… I like the tights" Lex leered for a moment, before he grew serious again "Are you alright, Clark? Do you have any idea how we ended up here?"

"I'm alright, but I don't know how I got here… how we, apparently, got here." the younger boy answered, sounding truthful enough for Lex "I… we were going to try and find out, now. How did you end up here? In this shop, I mean"

"I know Anya. Or I _will_ know her, eventually. Maybe." he chuckled "It's too complicated, really… but I'm glad to see you" he said earnestly, returning Clark's smile; only then did he acknowledge the other person in the room "Lex Luthor" he offered, extending his hand to the stranger.

"Um, hi? Xander Harris" the other answered with uncertainty, giving him a reluctant and weak handshake "You are… you say you are Lex Luthor?" he sounded concerned "Ahn, this man says he's Lex Luthor… Do you know what that means?"

"He is Lex Luthor, I've met him… I kind of gave him cancer a while ago, only not yet for him" she explained, the last part a faint whisper that eluded Lex, but which Clark was horrified to catch. He chose not to address it.

"Um… alright" Xander gulped, slowly turning around to face Lex with a big, nervous smile "Mr. Luthor. How may we help you?"

"I think I'm here for the same reason Clark is" he said offhandedly, quite used to the servile attitude if not pleased by it "Lost in spacetime for unknown reason. Trying to get back to point of origin. You don't happen to know why or how we ended up here, right Clark?"

"No, Lex. I have nothing to do with this…" the boy assured him, sounding embarrassed.

"Somehow I'm not surprised by this either. You _never_ seem to have any explanations…"

"I'm sorry, Lex…" the boy interrupted him, unable to look at his friend in the eye; he had had _the discussion_ with dad over a dozen times, but he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Lex anything about _the secret_, no matter how much Lex pushed.

"It's alright Clark, I'm sorry." Lex hurried to assure his friend "I didn't mean to pressure you, I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now…"

"You're overwhelmed?" Xander stuck his nose in "This is how you look when overwhelmed?"

"What would you have me do, Mr. Harris?" Lex asked, sounding entirely too neutral for a human being "I could run around the shop in an insane rampage, but I have no hair to pull out hysterically."

Xander was shocked, and also pretty sure he should be offended, since he was apparently been mocked. He could tell by the way Clark was trying to conceal a smile. Xander had been mocked plenty in his day, but never by a bald guy in a stupid superman t-shirt. Coincidentally, never by a multimillionaire genius from a comic book either, which made him feel marginally better.

"I would behave like an idiotic fool if I thought it could help the situation any, but somehow I doubt it would." Lex continued "As it is, I am truly hoping you're not the person we should be relying on to get back home…"

"No, don't worry, he's just the sidekick" Anya intervened from her place behind the cash register, while counting the money yet again "The others should be arriving any minute now. In the meantime, you could check out my merchandise… we have some things on sale over there in the back."

"Yes, I will do that, Anya." Lex agreed, starting for the back "Clark, would you care to join me?"

"Yeah, sure Lex" the younger boy agreed, starting right after Lex even if he was somewhat concerned about what his friend might want to talk about "What is it?" he asked as they made a turn among some shelves filled with things Lex seemed actually curious about.

"I just wanted to talk to you in private for a moment. You know I don't trust easily, and I certainly don't trust these… buffoons. Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, other than the fact that I am in some alternative reality thing…" he rolled his eyes "They're okay, Lex. And there is this older man, Mr. Giles… he seems smart, and he said he was going to see how he could help me back home."

"How long have you been in this 'reality'?" Lex questioned him while looking at some jars on a shelf, in a very Lex kind of attempt at being unobtrusive.

"For about a day now." he sighed "It's alright Lex, really, you don't have to baby me. We'll just stick together from now on, okay?"

Lex turned back to face him then, and was probably about to respond with a denial to the accusation of babying him, when a voice from the front of the shop interrupted them;

"Are you two alright back there?" the man's voice asked, sounding a bit too concerned for someone who did not actually know them.

"We're quite fine" Lex replied in a louder than usual voice, picking up a random jar from a shelf "The… testicles of a horbba-kei seem interesting" he noted, almost betraying a chuckle when he saw Clark rolling his eyes.

"They're great aphrodisiacs!" Anya yelled back "But if you mix them with kuyiaa roots they make a great money-making amulet".

"Really? How much are they?" he asked back, shaking the disgusting jar a little to make the two balls move around a bit.

"You don't need a money-making amulet, Lex. Put it back." Clark said before the reply could come, grabbing the jar and putting it on a shelf beyond Lex's reach.

"That's a cheap trick, Clark." his friend complained "And it was the _other_ property of the horbba-kei testicles that I was interested in" he assured Clark, giving him a suggestive look that made him turn as red as a traffic light.

"Shut up" Clark pouted, unknowingly making himself even more endearing.

"Come on, Clark" Lex sighed in defeat, only moderately annoyed by the boy's usual cluelessness "Let's go back there…"

When they made it back to the front of the shop, they found the man and the woman both looking at them expectantly.

"So, is everything alright?" Xander asked nervously, when nobody seemed to say anything.

"We're still here, so I gather some things are definitely not alright" Lex said smoothly "I do wonder what exactly you mean by that."

"Nothing, nothing at all… it's just…" the local boy paused, considering "You two know each other, right?"

"Yeah, we both live in Smallville" Clark hurried to answer, before Lex could verbalize any of the snark remarks he was no doubt coming up with "We're friends… sort of."

"'Sort of', as in 'he tries to kill me every now and then'?"

"What, no! Lex wouldn't try to kill me!" the Superman-to-be sounded upset "We… like each other, right Lex?"

"I certainly like you Clark." Lex said earnestly, turning his attention back to the other man with a speculative look in his eyes "Why would you think I would ever try to hurt him?"

"Hurt? I didn't say hurt." Xander assured him, realising he was really out of his depth and that he _should_ have read all those Superboy comics instead of sticking to good old Superman alone.

"You said 'kill', Mr. Harris." the bald man interrupted his reverie "I believe your exact words were 'he tries to kill me every now and then'"

"You're as good now as you were when you were older" Anya sounded impressed.

"Thanks. I was raised to be unsettling; the good memory is just a gift." he assured her, and was about to start questioning the boy again when an older man arrived.

"Good morning everyone" the man greeted with a cultured accent that Lex liked instantly "Is Willow not here yet?"

"She had class" Anya pointed out "Will be here in about… two hours and thirty-two minutes."

"Thank you Anya. How was your night Clark? I hope you slept alright?"

"It was fine Mr. Giles, thank you" Clark smiled politely, making the older man smile as well; then, he suddenly seemed to notice Lex.

"Oh, I am sorry. I don't believe we have met…" he said, his eyes on the young man with the strange combination of a silly t-shirt and the most wonderfully cut dress pants Giles had seen in quite some time, along with shoes that probably cost more than all of the store's stock.

"We haven't." Lex assured him, walking forward and extending his hand "Lex Luthor."

"Rupert Giles, it's a pleasure" the man replied, holding Lex's hand in a confident shake that the millionaire liked instantly, all the while maintaining eye contact.

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Giles. My friend Clark tells me you are trying to find a way to bring him—and hopefully, me—home?"

"Yes, of course. I was not aware there was someone else in Clark's situation, but we are doing our best…"

"I appreciate it, Mr. Giles. Is there any way Clark or I may be of help?"

"At the moment, I'm afraid we just have to wait." Giles said apologetically.

"I understand." Lex assured him "Would I be correct in assuming you are the one who can answer some questions?"

"Yes, by all means. Please, come down this way".


	6. 06

Two hours had passed by the time Willow and Buffy arrived. They found both Anya and Xander in front –Anya looking extremely bored, and Xander looking strangely edgy—and the sounds of a quite animated conversation coming from the back.

Anya raised her eyes in momentary excitement when she heard the door open, and then sighed in defeat when she saw no costumers; Xander just continued to look upset even as the two girls approached.

"So, what's going on?" Buffy asked, when she saw no-one was volunteering any information.

"They've been with Giles for two hours" Xander explained "I was there for about fifteen minutes, and I had no idea what they were going on about, so I left them to their smart-guy jollies and came back here…"

"Huh, I didn't figure Clark for the smart-guy-jollies type" Buffy admitted, glancing in the general direction the animated sounds were coming from "Who else is there with them? I can hear a third voice…"

"That'd be Lex Luthor" the boy supplied "His comic book nemesis… only not so much."

"I'm mentally exhausted" the blonde sighed "Explain?"

"The guy in there? He's supposed to be Clark's nemesis. Or Superman's, anyway." Xander explained, sounding tired and confused "Only they seem pretty buddy-buddy so far."

"Yeah? Well, all the better for us, right?" Buffy seemed pleased "Maybe the guy who wrote the comic took some creative liberties, or something…"

"Actually, the Lex Luthor I met _was_ pretty much at odds with Superman…" Anya pointed out from behind the counter.

"He was?" Willow asked curiously "How at odds? Was it like the movies…?"

"Well, I haven't watched the movies… human movies leave something to be desired, in my opinion" the ex-demon admitted "but they were pretty much on the verge of killing each other, and maybe even taking the whole work with them… that man over there really knows how vengeance is done. I was humbled."

"Anya!" Xander whined "Why didn't you tell me this _before_. They could have killed each other while we waited here, doing nothing!"

"Well, you didn't actually _ask_…" she pointed out "I thought you were wound up enough as it was, and why bother… Maybe they are friends now, and will only become enemies later on. That's one abused story-arc. Or they just might be another Lex and another Clark."

"Another Lex and another Clark" the boy asked, confused "How?"

"I'm just saying… why not?" she shrugged "There's probably an endless number of Lexes and Clarks out there, depending on millions of different events… maybe there is a Lex that is not bald, or a Clark that is bound to conquer the world… or, hey, maybe even someplace where Clark is Lex's adopted brother!"

"Wait a minute, honey. You mean _all_ the contradictions in the comic book might actually _have _been true at some point?" Xander sounded thrilled like a preschool infant.

"Sure" she agreed "But it'd take you forever –literally speaking—to find out, and you don't have that much time."

"Well, that's okay…" Xander shrugged, sounding only a little bit disappointed by that "It'd still be pretty cool to know _some_ of those places… how would one go about that?"

"Um, Xander?" Buffy tapped on his shoulder "Sounding a bit disturbing there, my friend".

"What? How?" he asked, perplexed.

"You were one evil laugh away from the mad scientist routine…" Willow pointed out, her eyes wide open "You're not supposed to inquire about inter-dimensional travel, mister! Magic is not something for you to play with!"

"Isn't that something Giles told _you_?" Anya asked, sounding honestly curious, from her place behind the counter.

Willow blushed as if on cue, Xander looked suddenly very embarrassed, and Buffy felt tempted to strangle Anya, who was looking at the three of them expectantly.

When the silence had lasted long enough for anyone's comfort, and Xander was about to make a goofy comment to break the ice, the front door opened with its characteristic ding-dong. Anya turned to them and mouthed the word "costumer", while pointing at the back of the store, and the three friends obediently moved away.

¸.·¯·.¸¸.·¯· ¸.·¯·.¸¸.·¯·

They walked into the backroom to find Giles and Lex Luthor laughing.

It was an immediately stunning sight, as none of the three friends seemed to remember Giles laughing _quite_ like that, ever. Honest, long-lasting chuckles, as if something very funny had been said—only Giles didn't usually find things funny.

Lex Luthor also seemed absolutely amused, and appeared to be the one who had been speaking, only now he was looking intently at the three new arrivals. He had mirth in his eyes, but also gave the disturbing impression of being studying them. Only Xander saw the momentary look that was cast his way, and he could have sworn it was a scary one, but chose not to mention it at the time.

"Oh, there you are, girls!" Giles called at once, still sounding more amused than usual "Come here, please, I want you to meet Lex… he's Clark's friend, mysteriously lost in Sunnydale as well."

"He seems to be a funny friend" Buffy noted.

"It's one of the few adjectives that are usually _not_ linked to my name" Lex assured her, standing up to shake the girls' hands.

"On the contrary, he's quite hilarious…" Giles insisted, clearly in an excellent mood, as everyone else exchanged greetings "He is also quite the scholar; we were discussing some interesting theories, just now, about…"

"Wait" Xander interrupted him, looking for all the world as if he were juggling with one two many ideas at the same time "Are you a millionaire? Or… or are you a mad scientist?"

Words died on everyone's mouths and all the eyes turned to Xander, who had realized his terrible phrasing barely an instant too late and was now looking quite embarrassed. He had been so busy thinking about what Anya had just told them, he had not really considered how potentially offensive could the stereotypical denomination be.

And now Lex Luthor was staring at him coldly, perhaps even murderously, and everyone else was giving him either shocked or disappointed looks.

"Mr. Harris, was it?" Lex Luthor addressed him at once "As usual, your questions are as odd as they are tactless. I have no doubt you are inspired by the most profound desire to help us, and even if the reason for this question eludes me I am sure the answer must be of the outmost importance for the situation at hand, so I would have to say 'yes' to both."

"Both?" Xander repeated lamely, somewhat disturbed by the sudden occurrence that, if Lex Luthor were a giant reptile, he would be munching on his entire head by now.

"Yes… a _millionaire_, according to Fortune, and a _mad scientist_, according to several universities and an educated board of mental specialists".

"Alright, that is enough of that" Giles spoke up, when it became clear nobody else was going to say anything "I am truly sorry about this, and I strongly apologise for Xander's behaviour… as I'm sure he will, in just a moment. But first, you need to know that in this reality there are, um, several comic books based on both Clark's and your persona."

"Comic books? Really?" Lex asked, not looking shocked as much as he looked interested "Well, who edits these comic books?" he questioned, a speculative look in his eyes.

"Well, there are lots of different stories… even different comic books." Xander explained, when everyone's eyes were turned to him "They have been written by many people, really…"

"Yes, of course, I know how comic books work…" Lex interrupted the babbling teen "What I meant was, is it copyrighted?" he insisted.

"Lex, you're not going to sue them" Clark said at once, while everyone else just stared with uncomprehending eyes at the bald man "You don't even have grounds to sue… you don't exist in this reality".

"Well, if inter-dimensional travel is possible, and people have been doing it for centuries" Lex reasoned "Then inter-dimensional prosecution _should_ not only be possible, but probably a very good business as well."

"Yes, well, it is in fact possible…" Giles admitted, taking off his glasses to inspect the crystals "but the market is dominated by a rather unscrupulous firm."

"Lawyers tend to be that way" Lex said noncommittally "But let's forget about it, before Clark actually succeeds in making my head burst into flames."

"What?" the alluded boy jumped, with that deer-in-the-headlights look that everyone already recognized by now.

"It's a joke, Clark" Lex assured him, placing one hand on the boy's knee in a comforting gesture "You were staring daggers at me, and I know you hate it when I am been a Luthor. It's all."

"Oh, okay" Clark relaxed visibly "I just hadn't heard you."

"I'm sure you hadn't, Clark" his friend insisted, sounding perhaps a bit disappointed, but no more than that "Did you have breakfast, Clark?"

"Yeah" Clark blushed almost instantly "Early this morning, we had some coffee at Xander's before we came down here".

"Well, I didn't have any breakfast before I left the hotel" Lex said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and offering Clark a few dollars "Would you go get me something to eat, Clark? You and the guys could go, have some coffee yourselves, or whatever you'd like…"

"Yeah, sure Lex" Clark agreed, taking the offered money and standing up readily "Can any of you show me around?"

"Yeah, come on, we know just the place" one of the girls said, and soon all the teenagers were on their way out, leaving Giles and Lex alone as expected.


End file.
